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Trusting Your Gut & Why I’m 98% sure I’ll Never Do Online Dating Again

So the other night, I was on my fifth date with a guy who I met on Match. Leading up to this date, we had some great times together, and he was so sweet and treated me with up-most respect. He seemed like he was very close with his family and we had several things in common. Seems too good to be true, right? Well it was.

After our fifth date, and we had gone out to dinner, he asked me, what do I think about firearms? I said, I was not comfortable around them and have not known anyone who carries them. I mean, come on, not in the Richmond bubble I live in! He told me a story about when a few years ago, he and his friend were in North Carolina, and were held at gunpoint by passersby or whomever, and ever since then, he has had in his possession firearms. Seems proactive and cautious, but get this: he’s certified and has a concealed handgun permit (CHP), which means that he can carry them, if concealed, in his car, and even on his body, legally in Virginia. My next question was did he have a gun on him during the pleasant day we had spent together (with my friends, no less), and while we were at dinner. He said that he had.

I froze. I couldn’t process it. I felt very unsafe. If I had known this guy a little better, and if he had a more happy-go-lucky personality (hey, I was giving him a chance), maybe I would have felt differently, but for the most part, I was stunned, stopped in my tracks.

I let him drive me home, but shortly after, once I called my mom and sister crying/telling them what happened, I called the guy and told him we couldn’t see each other anymore.

After I told him, he didn’t push back or ask me why or put up a fight. He said that he understood and just wanted to be honest with me. The fact that he didn’t seem angry, made me feel a little reassured and not in danger. I guess he was used to this?

Nevertheless, my gut was really talking to me here, and I had to listen. I mean, there was no question about it.

When I told my friends about this, some said, so what, did you feel safe or unsafe? I can understand where some people would feel safe, given all the crazy sh*t that has happened in our world, but right off the bat, I felt unsafe.

Had I known this guy a little more, and if he gave me all the warm and fuzzies, and was more sociable, I may have given him another chance, but you just can’t be too trusting.

I guess I was wanting it to work out there for a bit, but really, after he met my friends and I sensed that he wasn’t engaging well with them, I probably would have ended things soon enough anyway.

The world of Online Dating has never, ever worked for me. And I’m convinced that it might never will.

I feel like The Universe Has My Back, even though I haven’t read that book by Gabby Bernstein (it’s on my list!), I have a feeling that my person is out there and we will meet when the time is right.

So I guess my point is that I’ve exhausted the online dating game, and ready to trust in the whole “You’ll meet him when you least expect it” advise or even fate?

I left the 2% up for grabs, because often when I’m feeling good and everything is flowing and in alignment (buzz words from Jess Lively), I’ll get an itch to start swiping right again, but I hope I’ll listen to my gut a little closer this time.

Has anyone else had crazy dating stories like this?! I urge my fellow single ladies to trust their gut in the dating world! It is SO important that you do.

Xo,

Ellen

 

 

 

 

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